Tumblelog by Soup.io
Newer posts are loading.
You are at the newest post.
Click here to check if anything new just came in.

November 12 2017

2066 52ef 500

November 10 2017

7624 05d5 500


mai putting the entire franchise on blast in the sixth episode


my cat: *grabs my hand the same way felines in the wild use to snap their prey’s neck*

me: aww. you think you can kill me? fool. you are far too weak to challenge me. i love you

November 08 2017

9432 b430 500


today on “weirdly specific but extremely relatable goodwill finds”


instagram makeup artist wags her finger condescendingly and then cleaves you in half with one swing of her blade

November 06 2017



*hitting depression with a stick* i have to pass this class

*depression hitting me back* i dont give a fuck

October 29 2017



shapeshifting is the best super power because you can have any haircut any time you want, you can turn into a hotter version of yourself, you can turn into a dragon, you can turn into a robot, you can turn into a shambling mound of abstract shapes and sulk outside your estranged father’s house at night while chanting ominously about his sins,

This took a weird turn, but I’m still on board

4663 c7b7



you can only reblog this today

Golden rule of thumb for art kids: reblogging Bob Ross will bless you latest work



girl in language class: so why are you taking Italian? :)

me thinking about my plan to go back in time and raw Leonardo Da Vinci so hard he can’t walk for three days: I love the food

to clear things up because some of you clearly cannot fucking read: i am a homosexual man who is willing to go back in time and put my entire penis inside of historical figure Leonardo Da Vinci’s rectum in an act of anal sex and then go on to live a lavish and intellectually stimulating lifestyle as his beloved top. i don’t know what a video game is and i don’t care.




why does no one ever talk about wilbur robinson from meet the robinsons

i mean

look at him


didnt people ship him with his dad

and now i know why no one talks about him

October 27 2017


what do you mean “fucker” isn’t a term of endearment




i downloaded the owo chrome extension 

this post is ripping apart the fabric of reality 


i just want to make it clear that i use ‘yall’ cause it’s a gender neutral term, i dont want any of you to think im southern. please don’t think of me like that.

October 25 2017


disney’s gonna release the live-action little mermaid movie and the director’s gonna do an interview for teenvogue where he says the crab sebastian is gay and everyone’s gonna laud it as the most woke moment of 2019 and a horde of 21-35 year old women on tumblr will draw human aus where he’s a young white redhead and he and king triton are fuckin’


the sexy monster genre may not be my thing, but I do have a certain respect for what Guillermo Del Toro is doing with the shape of water, because while cowardly media like twilight will remove all signs of monster qualities to make vampires sexy underwear models, Guillermo is just full tilt “this creepy fish man is sexy, this woman wants to fuck the creepy fish man. she wants to lick his gills or some shit and that’s ok. fish fucking is valid” like I’m not into it, but goddamnit if I do not respect the boldness of it. go big or go home


tbh i am not the person you want to be texting in an emergency, my notifications are off and i’m on Do Not Disturb. i haven’t had a ringtone since the dark years of ‘06. i’ll text u back in four (business) months like “hope that worked out, the Lord works in mysterious ways xx”

October 22 2017


one time when I was only a few weeks old my mom tripped on a sidewalk while holding me and without a scrap of gymnastic experience did a full 360 tuck-and-roll somersault landing perfectly back on her feet and i didn’t even get a scratch and anyway all i’m saying is that sort of powerful protective instinct and split second reaction time in a moment of crisis is genetic and inherent so that’s why it’s ok if i use my phone in the bathtub

October 20 2017

0579 72eb 500



Mario is ready, are you?

Super Mario Odyssey - Nintendo Switch | $48 Buy-Now! (regular price $59.99)

Amazon Prime 30-Day Free Trial - 20% discount on any Pre-Order!

mario charges at me at mach speeds, smashing my bones to dust and killing me instantly


man i can’t wait to fully embrace my role as weird aloof cousin who never comes to family events and whomst you only know is still alive cos they occasionally like your instagram pictures 


*me pantless eating dry tortilla chips at 3:01 am*: its called self care assfuck

Older posts are this way If this message doesn't go away, click anywhere on the page to continue loading posts.
Could not load more posts
Maybe Soup is currently being updated? I'll try again automatically in a few seconds...
Just a second, loading more posts...
You've reached the end.

Don't be the product, buy the product!